Janey's got a gun

Jane's life plan.

2011-09-06T09:46:00.000-07:00

1. Cop the fuck on and EXCEL in 3rd year ESPECIALLY FRENCH.

2. Spend the summer after 3rd year in Paris learning how to roll my "r" 's authentically and find a french lover* called Pierre to buy me croissants which I shall eschew wit a firm "non" as my health has become my priority.
*French lover as this is MY life and in my life I wont have time for boyfriends only french lovers called Pierre who live to buy me croissants.

3. Australia! Adapt to the sun, feed a dingo my baby, wear a hat with corks in it, get severely burnt, Swim at 5am hammered, have Christmas on the beach.

4. Grow out knacker stripe and stop throwing out fighting words.

5. Figure out what to do with rest of life.

6. Don't get knocked up before you have seen the world.

7. Stay classy, San Diego.

Talking with my mother.

2011-09-05T10:38:00.000-07:00

Apparently if I get knocked up, I can apply for single parent with the government. I get a house, money each week, baby things. Nevermind the fact my tits will look AMAZING.

The only downside is I will have a baby to look after, but the world needs a little more me in it!

The story of why I love jam so much.

2011-01-02T12:17:00.000-08:00

When I was seventeen I went to the gaeltacht. The gaeltacht is like a summer camp, in the middle of nowhere where 70-80 teens go and live with host families, go to school, sports, etc and speak ONLY Irish.I went with four lads I was great friends with. But genders can't be mixed. I was living fucking MILES from them. Not only that, as I was the oldest in my house for the first few days [Three more girls were to arrive after a while] IO was Teach Ceannaire. Meaning, head of house. So it was me, two 14 year olds, and 3 13 year olds, miles from my friends. Whats worse? I had brought €70 work of pot but THE LADS HAD IT. So I was fucked off. Really fucked off. As is traditional with the gaeltacht, the food also sucked. basically the bean an ti gives you muck, and loads of bread and jam to fill you, with water and for one evening a week dilute to drink.

Never having been a fan of jam, after about 5 days I said fuck it and decided to just have some. And my life changed forever. How I delscribe it?

It added flavour to my otherwise dull and flavourless life.

For DAYS I had been eating only bread and butter, my tastebuds were crying. And there it was. Saved by the sweetest superhero, strawberry jam.

And then I went to college. Where I had to fend for myself. Where I have lived a bland and flavourless life, eating only pasta and bread, the cheapest foods imaginable. Made that bit more bearable with my good friend jam.

OMNOMNOMNOMNOM.

I want a tiny tattoo of a jam jar.

Today is nae my day

2010-12-19T11:01:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning/afternoon whatever and stumbled to the kitchen for my usual three or four cups of tea to start my day when THERE WAS NO TEABAGS.

I was griefstricken.

After an hour of curling up on the floor I decided to go to the shop. Which is a half hour away. Not a big deal but I hadn't even planned on getting dressed nevermind leaving the house today.

So off I went!

I picked my favourite brand, and got the biggest box there was. I walked home, clutching my teabags happily.

There is a roundabout in front of my house. I went to cross. There was a car coming. I knew if I ran I'd make it, and then Id be home and have tea!!!

I ran. I was a little cocky, I may have even shouted "Ha ha to you car!" as I ran across.

BUT OH FUCK. I dropped my teabags. I turned just in time to see them being run over.

I knelt on the ground threw my hands in the air and went "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

I felt my heart break.

WHY AM I SO USELES?? WHY CANT I DO THINGS?!?!

Cookbook

2010-11-08T07:49:00.000-08:00

I think I'm going to write a cookbook, I seem to be cooking and baking so much these last few months. But it shan't contain normal recipies, oh no! It shall instead contain my own personal ones, such as an "I'm sorry I slept with your friend" cake, and "Thanks for taking me to the hospital" lasagne.

I see a future in this.

blah

2010-06-03T16:00:00.001-07:00

23:57Me
I got in there first!

[thats what she sed]

23:57Megan
cuz yours was shorter

23:57Me
thats what she sed

Dossing.

2010-03-13T16:08:00.000-08:00

Here I am yet again, another assignment not done yet still procrastinating. I hate myself sometimes, and the fact I am so relaxed about what should be important shite. It worries me that I don't worry. If that make sense.

I don't care though. It's tragic, that I focus more on the social aspect of college. But lately, I have just felt so accepted in college. It shocks me when people know my name, or draw me into conversation, or even involve me. I'm not used to it, and I don't know why. In my head I just can't see why people would even WANT to involve me and draw me in, it just makes no sense. But I love it. I love everyone up there, I love Awesome K and how knowing her has brought so many science faces into my life, my class, and how on our week away I totally carved my place in their minds. Jane- Funny, moody, not a morning person, talks a lot, makes no sense, frizzy hair, impulsive, drunk, laughable, likable? Sans regret. I think it was my "walk of shame" that really got them, as I trudged through the breakfast room in my colourful wellies, bright green jammie bottems, dress and bright blue hoody, hair as mad as a goat, I most definitely drew the ENTIRE classes attention. I tried to be subtle and quiet about it, but when the cheering started what else could I do, but throw my hands in the air?

Speaking of, my new whorish nature is beginning to bother me too. I used to be so proud that I could walk into a lecture room, a room filled with more than 35 people and easily say I had not been with any of them. Usually I struggled on a bus of 10, but this I could say with my head held high. Not anymore. And the whole K thing, why would M forbid me from being with him? That's like telling a dog not to chase a cat, he doesn't even know the amount of times I've been with him, he only knows of 2, but the fact he brought it up to begin with? "Jane, we're going to K's house, but you are not allowed be with him. Ok?" Oh whatever, I'll try and contain myself. Which I did, for the most part, granted I still slept in his room but fuck that, in my drunken eyes I had slept their before and dammit I would sleep there again, because I NEVER sleep on a couch. I wasn't even with him, but noooooooo, M doesn't knoiw that. He'll go around thinking less of me, when all I did was bite K's shoulder. Hmph. I can't even defend myself with a "Psht, but I've been with him loads of times" remark as "we have to keep it a secret" Booo, hisss!

I sound like such a fucking girl right now. Fuck me.

JANE

2010-02-25T10:19:00.001-08:00

Jane

Orange: The color of autumn was named in the tenth century after the fruit. Although it has a strong relationship to food, fruit and spices, orange has always been a second string color, taking a back seat to red and yellow. If orange, the color of heat, fire and the harvest is your favorite color, you probably get along well with others. You tend to be social and hate to be alone. If you're feeling down in the dumps, adding a tad of orange to your day can help.

You entered: Jane
There are 4 letters in your name.
Those 4 letters total to 12
There are 2 vowels and 2 consonants in your name.

What your first name means:
Hebrew Female Gift from God.
English Female Jehovah has been gracious. A Feminine form of John. Variant of Joan. From the Old French Jehane. Famous Bearers: British novelist Jane Austen (1775-1817) and American actress Jayne Mansfield (1932-67).

Your number is: 3

The characteristics of #3 are: Expression, verbalization, socialization, the arts, the joy of living.

The expression or destiny for #3:
An Expression of 3 produces a quest for destiny with words along a variety of lines that may include writing, speaking, singing, acting or teaching; our entertainers, writers, litigators, teachers, salesmen, and composers. You also have the destiny to sell yourself or sell just about any product that comes along. You are imaginative in your presentation, and you may have creative talents in the arts, although these are more likely to be latent. You are an optimistic person that seems ever enthusiastic about life and living. You are friendly, loving and social, and people like you because you are charming and such a good conversationalist. Your ability to communicate may often inspire others. It is your role in life to inspire and motivate; to raise the spirits of those around you.

The negative side of number 3 Expression is superficiality. You may tend to scatter your forces and simply be too easygoing. It is advisable for the negative 3 to avoid dwelling on trivial matters, especially gossip.

Your Soul Urge number is: 6

A Soul Urge number of 6 means:
With a number 6 Soul Urge, you would like to be appreciated for your ability to handle responsibility. Your home and family are likely to be a strong focus for you, perhaps the strongest focus of your life. Friendship, love, and affection are high on your list of priorities for a happy life. You have a lot of diplomatic tendencies in your makeup, as you a able to rectify and balance situations with an innate skill. You like working with people rather than by yourself. It is extremely important for you to have harmony in your environment at all times.

The positive side of the 6 Soul Urge produces a huge capacity for responsibility; you are always there and ready to assume more than your share of the load. If you possess positive 6 Soul Urges and express them, you are known for your generosity, understanding and deep sympathetic attitude. Strong 6 energy is very giving of love, affection, and emotional support. You may have the inclination to teach or serve your community in other idealistic ways. You have natural abilities to help people. You are also likely to have artistic and creative leanings.

If you have an over-supply of 6 energy in your makeup, you may express some of the negative traits common to this number. With such a strong sympathetic attitude, it is easy to become too emotional. Sometimes the desires to render help can be over done, and it can become interfering and an attitude that is too protective, rather than helpful. The person with too much 6 energy often finds that people tend to take advantage of this very giving spirit. You may tend to repress your own needs so that you can cater to the demands from others. At times, there may be a tendency in this, for becoming over-loaded with such demands, and as a result become resentful.

Your Inner Dream number is: 6

An Inner Dream number of 6 means:
You dream of guiding and fostering the perfect family in the perfect home. You crave the devotion from offspring and a loving spouse. You picture yourself in the center of a successful domestic unit.

I now know how a Disney Princess feels

2010-02-11T15:31:00.000-08:00

when walking home from the night before, this morning was just so charming! I timed it perfectly that anyone who had to be in college by 9 was there, but no one had left for the 10 o clock class yet, the sun was BEAMING down, some pleasant old men took off their hats and waved them at me whilst their dogs yapped and leapt around me happily, some old woman started a delightful conversation with me about the weather and gave me a daffodil, and I felt as if the birds were singing just for me!!

Seriously, twas like no stride of pride I have ever done before, the sun makes everything better!!

Or maybe I was still hammmered.

Yar

2010-01-09T20:04:00.000-08:00

here I am supposed to be tidying my room before I go back to Galway but fock that because mother dear is a complete psycho bitch and i dont give a shit. Really sick of her telling me everyone hates me, that Im useless and she wishes I wasnt talking to her instead of daddy dear [4 years already. Hmm] so fuck her.

Instead I am thinking of 2009 and all the joys and sorrows it brought, having not yet summed it up for future reference, here it is!

The Joys:

College- What can I say, Heritage studies in GMIT? Not my first choice, but fuck do I love it. I love the people in my class, hilarious they all are, the people I live with [as annoying as they can be fock it, im sure im not a delight to live with either] the people ive met [lads next door, brilliant fun. Love going out drinking with them, going over to theirs for feasts based consisting mainly of potatoes] the drinking, oh the drinking! Eoin being right next door, the people hes introduced me too. Fuck, I even love the people of my early college days that through whatever occurences I dont see anymore. I love Galway itself, I love the randomness of it all. I love the freedom, and being by myself in the world. I love it all.

Spain- June, apres bac celebrations avec Megan and Stefanie, feel bad for how out of the loop megan was at times. I love megan, but stefanie is my best friend as much as she pisses me off at times. I loved the drunken nights, when me and megan ran around drinking for 2 hours and ended up with me falling out of a taxi at the door of a hotel and puking everywhere, me and megan laughing at the "I was with the short guy but i really liked the short guy you were with" "I liked the tall guy you were with!?" Falling asleep mid conversation with a spanish lad and having a nice 2 hour vodka induced sleep in the sand, running to midnight mass with those other lasds, finding the instruments on the beach, getting my haircut by a woman with no english with my no spanish and being hungover as sin, never making it down to breakfast, getting on the wrong plane, BABEHH!

The boys- Oh there has been many, the Schveeeedishness of Anders [now engaged HAHAHAHA] "want to meet for some kisses?"
Mike- "Oh my god, I love you!?" [he sounded shocked] shame really.
Kevin- "AAH, You just bit me?!?" "Well I told you to shut up"
countless faceless and nameless people.
Tom. Oh Tom! Dont care if he had a girlfriend, fight stopped by Davitt, the hilariousness of it all. He fell for me!!
Darragh- I just, I just cant resist.

The amazing drunken summer I had with Megan, Hael, Mike, Pj, Chris. Chris running home. Getting on first name terms with the bouncers in thhe castle. The castle itself. All magical.

Turning 18- My proudest moment, living this long. Quite the feat. Night filled with mistakes, but whatever.

Going out DURING the leaving cert. Never been that drunk in my life

Getting into Schkamps underage- "Youre on the bridge"

The hilarious quotes of the year, all found on facebook. HMMM. Cant remember much else.

The Lows

Ugh, Kilcoyne. Boy was I drunk. Woke up in Carlys not remembering having even gone there. My face must have been brilliant when they told me what Id done. The shame as I hitched home, the reaction when Carkys mother herself picked me up.

Crashing my beloved Punto, was rushing home to watch Gilmore girls and hit a pole. The kicker? Missed gilmore girls AND the repeat.

Not getting into college- Twas a dark day for me. Granted I quickly found an alternative, and Im happy now. But fuck was it depressing.

A week in hospital after the leaving cert- fucking mother doesnt believe me when Im sick and what does it fucking get me? Bitch.

The mumps. They suck. Missed my last 2 weeks of secondary school ever. Bah.

Spending the first 3 weeks of the year sick in bed. An effective diet, but horrible.

When that cow cut they layes in my hair so short they curled like fuck and I nearly cried for a week. Still not fully grown out!!

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

~sigh

2009-11-21T17:44:00.000-08:00

I have lost everything important, but mostly I have lost myself.

How do I find myself?

Things college has taught me so far:

2009-10-31T10:43:00.000-07:00

WELL! It has been a grand two months!

Friends are hard to make
out of two housemates, one is always awesome, the other is a pain in the ass
whenever you are walking home form a night out be it 10pm, 6am, or 4pm, people can tell. and for girls you will always get hit with a call of "WALK OF SHAAAAME!"
girls cannot get the cork out of a bottle of wine
9am lectures are horriffic
€3 shots are beautiful
unplanned nights out are the best!
assignments are never handed in on time
every song is a good song
cameras are essential
you will meet more people from your hometown than if you are at home
parents are to be told nothing

How to get past management

2009-07-25T05:59:00.000-07:00

I went to my friends debs/prom/formal/whatever yesterday.

I wasnt staying in the hotel, but had left all my drink and bags in my friends hotel room. After the meal, management werent letting anyone who wasnt staying in the hotel out of the banquet room, but I HAD to get my drink!! I went up to the bouncer and manager and was like "Listen, I know yere not letting anyone past, but I left my phone in my friends room and I dont care what ye say because I have to go get it. I have a kid at home, and I will damn well be phoning to make sure shes ok"

They just looked at me, doubtful. So I continued.

"Yeah yeah, Im your typical case of a teenage pregnancy. I DIDNT EXPECT IT. Now, let me out, would you get in the way of a rottweiler and her pup?" *Glare*

And then the trainee manager stepped forward. "Here, you can come up the back way with me. Its fine" and I got brought directly to my room, through the offices. It was great! He said to me as we were wqalking "I know how you feel, I have 3 myself and no one believes me." He was about 22!! :lol

So for the rest of the night I was allowed up to my friends room no hassle, and when I lost my bag the manager helped me look for it.

:lol

Only decent picture of me:

And now Im going to the recovery party. Where we drink more and talk about last night.

MEEE

2009-07-21T17:21:00.000-07:00

Jane: I like you. I like you a lot. I only noticed this about a month or two ago though. You remind me a lot of my sister-in-law (bitchy sister's asshole husband's awesome sister). I really only met her at the wedding, because we were both bridesmaids, but we really hit it off and became best buds for those few days. She's a total drunky, but the cool, super friendly, crazy lady type. I would LOVE to party with you someday. But aside from all that, you seem pretty damn strong too. It seems like you have a "Keep on truckin'" type of attitude, and just want to make the best of life no matter what shit gets thrown at you. I admire that.

Jane
Yer ginger
You amuse me greatly. I like how a few years ago you were all"Oh phooey, I burned the darn muffins." Now, you go into a bar, ten minutes later, sailors come runnin' out. What up with that?

Well well well!

2009-06-03T16:59:00.000-07:00

Today was the firstday of the rest of my life! I started the beloved leaving certificate exam. Not having done any study yet its a bit late to start so I am stumbling into all my exams, blind and most likely drunk! But I dont mind! Sometimes I feel like the only leaving cert who isnt worried about this thing? Anyways, some dumbass in Louth handed out the wrong papers and paper 2 is cancelled till Saturday, which means my plans of getting trashed on Friday night are unlikely to happen, the department of education is so inconsiderate. I happened to be taking a small 4 hour nap when the news broke of the cancellation, woke up disorientated and hungry to find loads of missed calls and texts lamenting the cancellation. I was dazed and confused, disbelieving of the whole fiassco, but eventually I had to see sense. Surely all my friends, thousands of leaving certs on the internet and the national news station hadn't bonded togethor just to trick me?? Anyways, Im grand about it because apparently Theme or Issue hadnt come up on comparitive, the one Ive prepared the most so hopefully itll be on the new paper, but am completely fucked if Bishop dosent come up because as much as I do like Rich Bishop is the only one that has settled in my head.
Started my morning in a... confused manner. Felt like the day should seem like a bigger deal or something? Drove expertly out to Louisburgh, screaming along happily to all the songs. No one was in my vision as I pulled up outside, the school looked dead. I straddled into the building, sunglasses on and not wearing my uniform wondering if it was the right day?
I was hit by a swarm of people, nerves buzzing between them.
I think I pissed off the examiner, as she was busy scurrying to student to student, looking for me to sign my name whilst I was busy on the other side of the room talking appletini's and sunburn.
And how typical is it that I am the only freaking student in the entire exam hall that cannot see the freaking clock from my desk? I am narked about that.
My essay was alright, filled with verbs and emotions but I wasnt really feeling it. I know its npt my best piece ever, and it was total sap in envelope, writing about a stupid relationship and proposal. I know I write from real life experience, but jesus, if my life is as sappy as that I really must shoot myself in the face sometime soon.

GOOD DAY.

A night out with General Socks and The Captain!

2009-05-12T14:11:00.001-07:00

A lesson on how to open a bottle of Champagne with me, Jane Jarvis.

1. Remove wire.

2. Get ready!

3. POP!!!

4. Or not...

5. Concentrate! [LOL!]

6. Get a friend to help.

7. Success!!

8. Drink.

9. Do Abbey Road.

10. Go "Clubbing"

Birthday!

2009-05-05T15:37:00.002-07:00

Facebook:

Emer Smith: I wanted to be the first to say Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO im saying it a day early lol xxx HAPIEEE BIRTHDAY!!! :-) xxx

Happy Birthday, Jane!
From all of us on The Facebook Team, have a great day!

Liam O'Malley: Happy day of your birth Jane. :)

James Durkan: Jane!
I Freaking Love You.
Happy Birthday.

Charlie Edwards: happy birthday :D
xx

Claire Smith: happy birthday! have a good one x)

Michael Fergus: Happy birthday Jane! Have a good one.

Wesley Gavin: Happy Birthday! dont go too mad!!

Borja García Garrido: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JANE!!!
Have a good one, n enjoy :D
I miss you!
xxxx

Anthony Concannon: happy birthday... and all that jazz...

Hazel Sheridan: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANE!! I LOVE YOU! HOPE YOU LIKED YOUR CAR! ;)

YYYAAAAYYYYYYY
;)
:)
XOXOXOXOXMcCafe

Saoirse Wall: hhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaappppyyyyyy birthday!Saoirse Wall posted a Just for you using Mmmm MEN.
hhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaappppyyyyyy birthday!

Corey O' Toole: happy birthday jane!!!:)

Megan Lally: I hope you enjoyed your day of surprises!! Zappy thirthtay!!

Texts!

inead Ryan: happy 18th birthday :] woop the big day has finaly cum :D haha, have a great day ... and dont get to drunk...at...eh...school? Hahaha xxx

Luke King Hamill: Happy Birthday Jane!

Stefanie Daley: JAAAAANE!! Youre 18 dudette, HAPPY FREAKIN BIRTHDAY! You are now the savage age of eighteen! Ready to take on the town togethor with out super *cough* Stain *cough*superpowers!! We shall tackle the wonderful world of drink as a team now! An, eh, buy lotto tickets, vote and such... [the responsible, mature activitiesof course! ;)] have a ownderful dayjaney! I'll look forward to our celebratorytipple [= until then my fieryginga of a birthday gal! Have a ball of a time bein legal, babbeh!!

Martin Lynch: Happy Birthday Jane! :)

Mike Hennelly: Happy Birthday!! :)

James Durkan: Fuckface! Happy Freakin Birthday!! You are finally 18, thank fuck!!

Chloe McGuinness: Happy birthday jane darling..have a great day! Enjoy 18, its the best! x :)

Breen Concannon: Bout time... Happy Birthday

Aine: Happy Birthday Jane, Aine

02: Happy Birthday from o2! We hope you have a great day and thanks for being a loyal customer!

Sinead Burge: Hey, Happy Birthday!!

Orla McNally: Happy Birthday!! :]

Robert Burge: Happy Birthday Cousin

Hannah King: Happy Birthday! Would you like to meet up for some kisses? ;)

Karen Francis: Happy Birthday *music note, emote

Sharon McNally: Bon anniversaire! feliz cumpleanos!A very happy birthday my now legal friend!

Hazel Sheridan: Hey hey birthday girl, you like your car? ;]

BEBO!

Sinead Burge: birthday luv

Stefanie Daley: Haaaaappy Biiirrrrrrrthday!

=]]]

EIGHTEEN!

AT LAST!

Whoop-dee-gloop...

Lorna Sheridan: Happy birthday!!!

xxxxxxx

HOROSCOPE!!

Tremendous internal changes, intense effort, relentless determination, compulsive and irrational drives, and strong assertion of your will are the key issues during this time period. This is a difficult time period when you want to make intense changes. This transit can last for a number of weeks.

Wellness:
93%
Intellect:
35%
Love:
87%
Emotions:
6%
Intuition:
39%
Creativity:
24%
Work:
81%
Money:
99%

Power Numbers: 10, 17, 35, 11, 49, 6

Born Today: Soren Kierkegaard, Karl Marx, Christopher Morley, James Beard, Tammy Wynette

This is a good time for you in your emotional relationships. Your ability to express yourself confidently and openly wins you the respect and admiration of others. You can promote ideas and goals that you believe strongly in and. They quietly accept your proposals and ideas, and may even provide some support.

Taurus General Horoscope
Tremendous internal changes, intense effort, relentless determination, compulsive and irrational drives, and strong assertion of your will are the key issues during this time period. This is a difficult time period when you want to make intense changes. This transit can last for a number of weeks.

Myspace: Managing your day is a cakewalk for you because your greatest strength now is the easy availability of all the determination you need. Nothing is going to pull you off track now, enabling you to finish whatever you start. Don't worry about working too fast; take your time and plod along like an ambling bull. You'll arrive at your destination on your own schedule.

THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU ALL!!!

Birthday!

2009-05-05T15:37:00.001-07:00

WHOOO!

2009-05-04T16:23:00.000-07:00

Last summer I was at the gaeltacht for three weeks. I went up with five lads Im great friends with, but they were in a different house to me. Every day after lunch and dinner I would walk down to their house and me and Dermot and Luke would go to this old crumbling cottage nearby and spark up, we even stole a patio set from a nearby summer house to sit on. On our first Sunday there I got up early and went down to them, they were up and we went to the house and just smoked solidly for an hour. Eventually we were so fucked and were just sitting there. Dermot stood up and said "Im just going outside" and left. A minute later Luke said "Im just going to check on him" and went out too. I went out when he didnt come back and the two of them were lieing star style in this long grass right by the door. I stared at them for a second before stretching out between them. The three of us just lay there, in the grass on the side of the [albeit unused] road in the sunshine for about an hour. I just felt so content and happy for that hour. We always talk back on it "hey, remember that first Sunday at the gaeltacht when we couldnt move off the side of the road."

Tuesday, May 5

You're getting a strong love vibe from someone who can't take their eyes off of you -- maybe your sweetie, if you're already dating, or maybe someone you don't even know all that well.

18, EIGHTEEN, HOCHT DEAG, DIX-HUIT, UNSTOPPABLE!!

*squeee

GODAMMIT SHOWER

2009-05-02T05:04:00.000-07:00

I CLEAN YOU, EVERY WEEK. EVERY WEEK I MAN UP, SCRUB YOU AND POUR POWDER STUFF DOWN YOU TO MAKE YOUR PIPES SPARKLEY AND CLEAR, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU PERSIST IN SMELLING SO GROSS?!?!?!?!

Sincerely, Jane.

Whooo!! 3 days till 18!!

I am so freaking dramatic.

2009-04-06T08:51:00.000-07:00

I can't help it sometimes

*crycrycrycrycry

Siiiiiiiiiiigh

2009-01-25T12:14:00.000-08:00

Well, I finaly did it. After 4 glorious months together I finaly crashed my car. Blue Beauty is no more!! It's so sad really!! I was driving home, and on the road just before the house when I noticed a fresh fall of hail on the ground. So I slowed down and was just going around a bend when I slid, spun, and hit a lamp post. [Which was lucky actually, because either that or go off a ridge, definite broken bone]

It's just so infuriating, I wasn't even going fast in the first place, and had just slowed down! Fate decided to fuck me over. I was supposed to stay in town with Sharon, but she was sick so that didn't happen. Then I was stuck behind a tractor the whole way home. If I had been on that road 2 minutes earlier, there wouldn't have been any hail. 2 minutes later, and it would have been washed away by the rain that began to fall as I stood helplessy on the side of the road waiting for a car flag down. Such a waste of money too, I feel so bad :( :( :(

I've been thinking lately of the "phantom phone buzz". I've been experiencing it a lot recently!! Sometimes I don't even have my phone in my pocket, and I feel it! If it's not my phone then what the hell is it?!? My ovary!?! Can they buzz?!?!?

I've also come to the conclusion that it is really hard to argue your maturity when your tongue is the same colour as your t-shirt [and your t-shirt is blue]

"No Jane, the reason you won't be bringing your cat to college is because you will prolly be living in the same place as me and I hate cat's, not because he bit you on the thumb when you were petting him"

In other news, my mocks are less than two weeks away and I haven't done a tap of study. Ok, that is a lie, I have studied. But studying and then retaining the knowledge are two different things!! It is impossible! I'm completely funked, and mother dear will be disappointed in me. Although the mocks aren't too important, they don't get me into college now do they? No! Speaking of college, I have to make a final deision on that. It's funny, 5 months ago I went to the NUIG open day and spent all my time dossing and not getting any information on courses because "I wasn't going to be going there!" and now every course I'm putting down is there. At least I know that the hot chocolate is good!!! In regards to my decision, I'm slightly disappointed in myself. When I was 4 I was definitely going to be a doctor, now I'm going for arts?! Where have my aspirations gone?!? I'm even worried that I won't get enough points for arts!!! Fuck me.

And finaly, living proof that perseverence pays off!! I can finaly click my finger's! Not well, or extremely loudly, but there is a genuine noise!! I'm so proud, this ability was but a dream to me and now it is reality!! I feel so proud of myself, I just want to go out and click at a waiter [but I never would because that is extremely belittling to the waiter, and cause for a spit-filled meal]

A summing up.

2009-01-18T10:20:00.000-08:00

Today's conclusion: My hand is perfect pringle tube size, I really hope that I am past the age of growth because I think I will cry if I ever find it difficult to get my NOMS.

Last night I went to a play with The Mothership, there was a raffle and I was sitting there being uninterested and the raffle woman was all "Now I'll ask this young one here to pull the first ticket" and she was referring to a little 8 year old girl in the second row. I was ignoring her and my mother was joking about how it would be really funny if she asked James [mothers friends sprog] to pull a raffle ticket as he is 13 years old and "hahaha, wouldnt that be embarrassing!" Next thing we hear "Oh here's another little girl who'll pull a ticket!" I was still ignoring the proceeding when lo and behold I look up from picking my nails and yer wan was holding out the box to me.

Fooks sake. SEVENTEEN. I AM SEVENTEEN.

Not all old people are tall, its not my fault I was given this cross to bare!!

I think it is hilarious that the word "bed" physically looks like a bed. Brilliant.

GOOD DAY! I LOOOOOOOOVE EVERYTHING!! [Some things more than others!]
A letter.

Dear phone,
You are awesome. I'm so sorry I dropped you outside in the rain yesterday and did not realise for up to three hours, but hey at least I remembered eventually right? Anyways, Im so glad you are a flip phone and kept all your beautiful buttons safe from harm, and happened to land on your face sso you were "back up".
Keep on rocking phone, I'll try to be more attentive with you.

Love, Jane.

2008

2008-12-30T06:08:00.000-08:00

It is near the end of 2008, and what a beautiful year it has been !! I can honestly say I have a had a ball. Sure, there has been up's and down's, but the up's were more plentiful and memorable. (: (: (:
It may have been my attitude upon truning seventeen perhaps, and my insistence that seventeen is to be the best year for me. Which I relish, because I still have 5 months left of this glorious age!!

Good things:

Seeing Jimmy Eat World play live last February.
Robert's 21st where the drink was flowing,
Turning seventeen,
Getting that horrible mutated lump removed from my right hand [only for another to grow on my left hand!!]
The formation of The Tripod and the lifestyle we have chosen,
Puebles Ingles. First trip to a foreign country alone.
The Gaeltacht. As terrible as it was at times, it has some dear memories for me,
The World Street Performence Championships, which were aweing! Charlie Caper really made an impression, as did the english gents,
First term of the leavin cert. I honestly think that I am the only person in Ireland excited about it, but what's not to be excited about?? After those mere 28 hours of testing, our worlds are opened and we go to college!! It's fantastic!!! As hard as the decision of what to do is, I know the hours of serious thinking will pay off in the end,
Trinity open day, more fun than one would have imagined,
The Tripods ventures out to Old Head,
Michelle's 18th. As sick as I flt, it was fun!
The release of the Twilight movie [How fangirl am I that that made my list of happies?? Lol!]
Getting my tattoo. Which I do not regret, because this s my year!
My labret piercing. A little crooked, which pisses me off but I have looked past!
Una's wedding in Italy. A short and sweet trip, but good!
learning how to drive. Let's just ignore the little accidents Ive had!!
Stefanies's 18th. I'm glad she enjoyed it so much..
Dropping art, it was a sham that I was in the class in the first place,
my job. As much as it sucks sometimes the people there are lovely, and the friends I have made. Good.
Making peace with my former enemy, the colour yellow.I am sorry I hated it for so long, it was uncalled for! I have taken off my rose tinted glasses.

Not so groovy things:

Having to put Dino down. My poor dog wog!!!
That cuntish surgeon who was all "Its prolly just cramps" HARD TOP COINFUSE THE TWO, JACKASS.

And that is it!! Whooooo!!! I think. Memory fails me.

And now, 2009. Which has sucked so far due to my undesired illness. Except for those first few celebratory hours, 2009 is teaching me a lesson. It realised that I was heading down an insane road and did what was necessary. 600 points, here I come!!!!!

"Damn it"
"What?"
"He SAID he was vingt. Vingt!!"
"Yeah, and?"
"He so wasn't.."
"Oh.."
"That lieing french fucker!!!"
"...."
"I love him..."

LOL.

Faery Dust

2008-12-23T15:03:00.001-08:00

Noice

2008-11-23T13:06:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97... wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be IT.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.

I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.

You are NOT as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.
Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings; they are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Midterm!!

2008-10-24T12:44:00.000-07:00

Midterm midterm midterm!!

Sweet! I definitely deserve this week off, I have simply been working sooooooo hard, its is extremely exhausting living my life!

*Snort* In reality, I am such a slacking waste that it physically hurts!

Finished this side of the term with a biology test. And it was brutal! Even though I spent a solid hour directly before the test reading nothing but the three page chapter the offending exam was on, I completely blanked upon recieving my paper. Nooo ideaa. But I soldiered on! Question one, three words in, my pen stops working.. Not a good fecking start! Anyways, my diagram was horrific, my graph had a blank X axis. Ms Finucane recognised my struggles when collecting the tests and left me with it, giving me extra time. She entertained the rest of the class with some riddles, but of course I had to take part!! Moments later, the bell rang out. Ms Finucane was distracted, I saw my chance. I jammed my horrific joke of an answer sheet into my bag and pretty much scuttled out of the room.

Muah ha ha.. In all hoesty though, it is so much easier this way. I know exactly how terribly I had done, I do not need her to see that aswell!

I just don't understand it though. I try so hard with biology. Yet the information just seems to drop out of my head straight away. Its so frustrating...

OH WELL!!! I can get past this ;)

I also got my car insurance transferred. The woman who helped me was extremely lovely and even better, had a Donegal accent. I was getting giddy just listening to her. I love northern accents!!! Now I can pimp drive around the place as much as I want. Fiat Puntos are so badass.

I am really liking my new blog colours right now. The world, and my layout, have become much brighter places...

I was sitting here,

2008-10-17T13:14:00.000-07:00

thinking about doing homework when I glanced at my surroundings and realised just how awesome ma chambre is!! Seriously! I have made some good decisions in this respect.

Et maintenant, a visual! Ooooh...

Lets start with the colour, no. I am not that fond of it, but I care not! Because at least it is not the truly terrible pink color it was. Ugh!!

Drag your gaze towards the swivel chair, notice the cushion?
Yes. Yes it is a sheep. Brilliant!! And on the wall! My ever loved Prince Caspian and Marilyn Monroe posters! Thanks to Stefanie for one, and myself for the other! I think they add a note of brilliance to the room.
My lava lamp. Every room should have one, or so is my belief. They are the awesome factor in rooms worldwide. Strong supporter. Never have I been as distressed as teh day I went into dear Sineads room and she had the lamp I gave her SWITCHED OFF. Some people just dont appreciate brilliance!!! >:(
The ever neat and tidy filing system is located at the top right corner of the desk. It amazes me how well kept it is! I should be a secretary for the taoiseach!!
The only art piece I ever completed now, picture of me fein, brain being unzipped and prodded. Am extremely proud of that!!Hair straighteners, have saved my life more times than I can remember, and the tesco brand tropical fruit drink, I advise as it is deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelish!!
My ostrich egg. A gift from Granny. She stook that from a fair. Only her. And now it is miiiiine! Really want to see how fragile it is, and crack it, but then it would be broke!?!?! I couldnt possibly do that!!! And the dumbest picture of Stefanie and I makes an appearence. Hah.
My cd/record player/radio. Grooviest thing I have ever bought. I love it so much it physically hurts.
My Tinkerbell mat, smartest thing Ive done this week.
My "curtain", merely a sheet draped over the rail. With a hash plant on it. My neighbours must hate me, and my terrible ways!! Got it for a quid in Camden.
My flop chair, what more is there to say? It simply oozes comfort, its obvious!

And finaly, my bed. [Modeled here by the elite Winegum] My nest, my home within home. Have had manys a great time there, teh place where my dreams are made and recognised, where my genius is its greatest. Comfy as feck. Even classier, is the orange bedspread beneath my fooking great patchwork blanket.
Damn, I love my room...

Things I like.

2008-08-16T08:29:00.000-07:00

The smell of new books,
Waking up refreshed,
Ice cream,
When something so funny happens that I am laughing so hard I have to stop what I am doing and go into a differant room to recover,
Good comebacks,
Loud music,
When Winegum lies on my back,
Prodding my hip bone,
Getting into the pub,
Thin days [when will they be years?]
Stealing fruit from work,
When people smile at me,
A good rant,
Hugs from people taller than me,
When I actually get on with ma famille,
Watching stupid videos on youtube,
Making stupid projects for myself,
When a book is so good I don't even notice time passing,
When I meet someone new, and we get on so easily it is as if we have known eachother for years,
When people I am serving at work bother to check my nametag and thank me,
Good hair days,
"Feeling up" peoples spines,
Water,
JAM,
A really good song that as soon as you hear the opening bars you know it's going to be good,
Stars, and how no matter what they will always be there,
People who get what they deserve [in a good way!]
Finding money in my pocket,
When I am pissy no one has text me and getting one,
When I have just done some exercise and instead of wanting to die feel refreshed,
People who have amazingly good hair,
When someone has a really good fitting pair of jeans,
Making people laugh,
Making people happy,
That Elmo loves me the most,
My sunglasses,
When I haven't seen somebody in ages, and they are happy to see me,
Frosty mornings,
Cracking my bones,

MORE LATER

Spain.

2008-07-19T07:04:00.000-07:00

Spain. Spainspainspainspainspain. Spain.

Spain was epic. What an experience. Evryone was beautiful. Now! The story!

I reached Madrid at approximately 6 o clock Thursday, July 10th. Thank freak for no delays! Myself and two other Anglos who arrived in from Englad got a taxi to le hotel. Nick and Mia were there names. Ended up sharing a room in Madrid with Mia. And Meriea. Whose name I couldnt pronounce. Poor chickie spent at least 20 minutes trying to teach me. Im such a tool!!

Meriea et moi

Mia!

The room in Madrid.

I had to get up nice and early Friday ,orning to get my bus. I looked at my alarm when I woke up and went "oh great! Its only 6 o clock! I have another hour" and quickly went back to sleep, completely forgetting Spain is an hour ahead of Ireland! Hysteria!!

On ye olde bus I ended up sitting next to Andrea, a spaniard who I ended up being room mates with in La Alberca! I was prolly a really crap seating partner because after 2 hours I fell asleep mid conversation!!

^Isnt she pretty! I was prolly a really crap room mate too. Par example, every night she would fold up her lanyard and put it away and I would just put mine on the ground.

One night, so I wouldnt wake her up when my phone rang I left the room and ended upo locking myself out. I had to wake her anyway to get back in! And on the second morning after forgetting the shower didnt connect to the wall and accidentally soaking the bathroom, she just laughed. She had the patience of a saint when it came to me! I did try though! Was still "A disaster" :P

I was put with the yellow team./ We lost. Overall, we got 29ish points. The winners got 170+.

Our days started at nine. Breakfast, warm up, one to one, another one to one, group work, lunch, free time, free choice games, one to one, fun one to one, dinner and meeting room.

On the first day I chose to do frisbee golf! I was on a team with Alejandro, a fellow yellow person, AND WE WON! I've got talent I tell ya!

Im just going to put everything in groups now, so much happened. Cant remember.

Free choice

Day 1: Frisbee golf

Day 2: Charades. So funny. The spaniards were hilarious trying to act out words they didnt know. Borja was brilliant. [But more about him later] When he ws doing "Going on holiday" it was the funniest thing in the world

Day 3: Basketball.
Now this was a moment of idiocy on my part. Momentary idiocy made it that I ended up there. Forgetting I was shite at basketball, forgetting that I wasnt in Ireland where EVERYONE is terrible at said sport and actually in Spain where everyone is brilliant, forgetting I dont even know HOW to play basketball, I found my self up on the court ready to play.

I didnt even get to see the ball, they were all so good. Although I did get runover by Brian, the big american footballer. But at least he came back to peel me off the court.

Day 4: Creative writing, where such stories as "Tom the Ant", "Tom the british guy" "Joe the dog" and "The fat pig" were born. We are so creative and mature. King has nothing on our writing talents.

Day 5: The fair. Fun. But nothing exciting.

Day 6: Olympics. With ridicyulous things like passing balloons with our knees, and putting sticks that were tied to our waist into a bottle. fun though! Yellow won 2 competitions! Wheeee!

People:

Ivanka. One of my first and best friends there. She was so groovy.

Borja. Fabulously spanish and gay. On the day of the olympics, I found him to be wearing extremely short shorts. He let me in on the secret that he actually had them rolled up! Hahahaha. On the last night, I was seated beside him at dinner. He put bread in my water, so thinking fast I poured my water into his glass. He squealed, and went to pour it back in my glass, but I guess he's so girly he cant throw because instead of getting it anywhere near the glass he threw it all over me!! We got in so much trouble. But whatever.

Nick. Possibly one of THE funniest people ever. [Cant find a picture right now :(]

Alejandro. THE funniest person. Could do so many weird things with his body you wouldnt even believe it. Could touch between his eyebrows with his tongue, bark exactly like a dog, and move like a monkey. One day he walked up to me and said "Hello". In that split second he robbed everything from my pockets and I didnt even notice! Sneaky fecker. We dressed him up as a girl so many times when we had to perform.

Andrés. Insanely tall and only fifteen. Kept randomly falling down. Took a shine to me.

Tom. Tall, blonde, "Looked like Owen Wilson, but with a better nose"

Andrea. Best room mate ever!!

Perry and Ana. Upstairs in the bungalow.

Enrique. Extremely homophobe. Horrified by Borja. My 'Tarzan'.
"So do you like any boys here?"
"I like you"
"But you are Jane, you're married to Tarzan!"
"You're my Tarzan"
And for the rest of the week everytime I saw him Id blow him a kiss or such. prolly really creeped him out!

Arkaitz the Great! Undefeated in armwrestling. Coukd pick me up easily. Really tough looking, but always wore flip flops.

Quotes [Funny, but possibly mostly those 'you had to be therre' moments]

Me:This salad sucks
Borja: Oooh, what you need is some dressing, and some mayonaise, and some colour to make it prettier and..
Me: It needs some meat, thats what it needs. A fucking cow or something.

Me: You are so fussy
Brian: *horrified* Did you just call me a pussy?!!?!

Also, Brians gay "impression"

Andrés: [Playing badminton and slips] FUCKING SHITTING GRASS!

Me: What did you do during the free time?
Borja: Oh, I stayed in my bungalow and packed my shitcases.
Me:........ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Borja: These seats are so uncuntable!

Maintenant! Funk this! I'll edit more later!

I love the feeling

2008-06-27T18:45:00.000-07:00

after Ive got my hair cut, and my hair is all nice and floaty and "lalala, Im so nice" because the hairdresser is awesomesauce.

What a freaking pity my job sucks sometimes and I accidentally got ice cream in my hair.

Although.

I love the feeling of the knowledge that my bank account is happily filling up with hard earned money. :D

Dublin2.0

2008-06-16T16:03:00.000-07:00

Dedicated to Karen.

-Although it kind of weirds me out to write for someone. I usually just write it for myself. Damn standards! ~Shakesfist

Well, this weekend was freaking AWESOME!

Friday:

Spend the day trying on debs dresses and generally being a pain in the arses of shop assistants everywhere. The bright orange dress, a personal favourite!!

Picture the scene- A small cinema screen, a crowded room, velvet seats, mango daquiri's, boys in corsets.

The movie of all movies.

The use of props, HILARIOUS! So wish we'd got to sit down and use more props, but whatever!!

Saturday and Sunday were awesome. Oh my freaking face, the talent in the world! Could not decide who was better. The English Gents were amazing. So strong and agile. Amusing aswell. Actually deserved to win after that show of strength! 50 minute shows, at least 5 a day. Non stop lifting? ~drool

And how good was Charlie Caper? The tricks were mind boggling. Before my eyes he uncrushed a can, and it was suddennly refilled with coke!??

Oh how I have wasted my life!!

Mr Spin was good, but I wasnt tht in to him. The impression he left was not as aweing as the others.

Even the signs were great!!

^They were the people making sure we walked funny. And yes, I know its blurry, but I was prancing :P

Such a brilliant event, funk the leaving cert next year, I have to go to that again.
Its just. Wow. I dont even have the words to describe it without being repetative!

Wish Id seen the Space Cowboy though. He put a swrod down his throat and hung two cement blocks off it. Won it the last 2 years, wouldve been good. But whatever!!

And now, I am really fat after my weekend because I indulged in EVERYTHING [even gravel and bus tickets]

^NOMMING into Catherines candyfloss. NOMNOMNOM!!

I am proud[ashamed? pft! to say no exercise was done! When I could have cycled for hours today. But whatever.

Like I even want to be skinny.

(¬_¬) Oh hush you!!

I dont want to be old!

2008-05-28T06:41:00.000-07:00

Since arriving home from school for the last time yesterday I promptly got into bed and havent left it since.

It is my way of fighting off all the decisions I have to make in the too near future.

I love how I have matured so.

But damn, this is hard! I mean, I am the person who spends 10 minutes choosing what to drink at lunch! Its especially ridiculous considering I and everyone around me know that I am going to get a coke, yet I persist with this pointless charade day after day!

These decisions are much harder.

1. Do I go to Spain, yay or nay?
If I go I miss the biggest party of the summer, of the boy I mmm.. over. I dont speak ANY spanish. [Not counting sombrero. But that will nae get me far! {At least I will never be hatless}] and I'll have to go on an airplane by myself and I am terrified of heights and zomg the thought of it is killing me. I will also return just one day before I feck off to the gaelteacht. How am I supposed to do all my washing in one day?!?! AAAAAH!!

2. Work.
When do I start? Should I have gone in todays as opposed to lieing here wondering. What hours am I going to have to work? Will I ever be on the cafe floor and not just stuck in the kitchen? What if I break something? What if they hire someone new when Im gone, and I come back and they have no job for me, so I have no regular income so Ill have to walk the streets and then I get runover by a crazed dog who goes insane when he smells ginger and then my body is never identified because my hair is gone and no one recognises me? So much to think about.

3. Driving.
What if I plough into a family of four and kill us all? And why cant I find a stamp to send off for my provisional.

Theres more, but Im tired now. Thinking surely takes a lot out of me.

Summer is here!

2008-05-27T08:25:00.000-07:00

And so is hayfever and the threat of sunburn! The fuckers!

Things it is too warm for:
School [over, thank freak]
cooking
jeans
pyjamas
blankets
socks
wearing my hair down
exercise
tests
work
arguments

whooo!

2008-05-12T12:01:00.001-07:00

Hahahahahahahahah!!!

2008-05-05T15:44:00.000-07:00

hahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

"IF ITS YOUR BIRTHDAY TODAY your year ahead will be focussed, self sufficient, determined and full of enthusiasm. Not everything will work out as easily as you expect, so keep your hopes realistic. Socially you may feel there's less fun around so make more effort to inject excitement into your off duty activities. Luckily adventurous friends will pull you out of a rut and ensure you stay on your toes. After mid year you'll be able to relax more often."

nonononono!

2008-04-28T11:51:00.000-07:00

Damnit! Damnit, I am such a freaking.... IDIOT! I smashed my mirror! Into smithereens.

SEVEN YEARS BAD LUCK. SEVEN. Thats half the remainder of my life. ~cries

And I had just gotten past my previous 7 years. DAMN.

Speaking of. Its my birthday next week. Although 17 is my favourite age, the age I have always wanted to be, I'm going to be OLD. Someday I am going to be even OLDER. The thought is killing me. Its not fair. I have wasted my youth and life. I could have had 4 kids by now. Feck. I do not want to be old.

At seventeen.
To those of us who know the pain
Of valentines that never came,
And those whose names were never called
When choosing sides for basketball.
It was long ago and far away
The world was younger than today
And dreams were all they gave for free
To ugly duckling girls like me.
We all play the game and when we dare
To cheat ourselves at solitaire
Inventing lovers on the phone
Repenting other lives unknown
That call and say, come dance with me
and murmur vague obscenities
At ugly girls like me
At seventeen

I am also painting my room. I chose purple, but this is the pinkest purple I have ever seen. It looks nothing like the tester. I cannae even return it as it was one that was mixed up for me. Fecks sake. Although I dont mind pink. My second favourite type of sweets are pink [first type being orange, second being strawberry and cream swirls] but this pink is nothing like that.

Finally sent back my mediacal form for Spain!!

"Describe cause, reaction and treatment of any allergies:

I am allergic to strawberries. Eating more than 3 strawberries make me look like a strawberry. If you see me with a strawberry, take it off me immediately."

I want to live my life now. I am sick of school and people telling me what to do. Study, drive, go to work, exercise, babysit, no you can't go out.

Fuck off. How can I discover who I am if nobody lets me.

I don't want to grow old. I don't want to be short and fat and squatty. I dont want to be an idiot. I don't want to have to make everyone else happy and be miserable myself.

It is all about me today. Accept it.

Nnnnnnnnn

2008-04-09T10:25:00.000-07:00

I hate whenI accidentally eat too much [although I also hate it when I accidentally drink too much. But I don't realise that till the next day, when I wake up wearing my liver as a hat]

But this is just so uncomftable.

Fatass.

my room is a mess

2008-03-30T08:53:00.000-07:00

It is in such a state! And considering there is pretty much nothing in here, thats bad. I should clean it, and I will. But I just can NOT be bothered right now. Why can't I be bothered?

Something amazing has happened.

I don't know how. I shall not question it.

My vodafone, compoletly useless, slow as my maths teachers mind dial up connection has quickened its tawdry little speed and now I can watch youtube with only a moment of waiting! And what am I watching? My new love, Joan Of Arcadia [although she is so not sixteen. Pffft]

Sveet.

My other new found love is of course Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and I am led to believe that Nathan owns that. Unless everytime I have been in his room this year I have either imagined it, or been drunk. Which I am pretty sure I have never been considering I am there at 4.30 after a long day spent, not in a pub/club/houseparty with a bottle in my hand, which yes, would be fun, but in a dark crowded school of "Greenies" expanding my education and creating my future. All in a day's work.

I am going to fail it all because I accidentally got off the "Good Student Who Studies Hard Train" about 2 years ago. My new shoes make that all worthwhile though.

My lips are sore, and I don't know why, and the only other time they have eer felt like this was 2 years ago atfter going to see The Frames so Im sensing a link between now and then because both times I was out the day before and both times I boycotted the use of glasses. I wouldnt mind, if it isnt such a bitch when I'm eating cashew nuts. The salty fuckers.

It has really annoyed me how the clocks went forward an hour last night because even though I knew this I completely ignored it when I set the video for Joan of Arcadia last night. Good thing I am such a freak when it omes to the video recorder and always set it at least 40 minutes early because for some reasin the scheduale may be wrong and where would I be then? So I only missed the first 5 minutes, although that included teh theme tune, which I was crushed about untill I realised I could just watch it on youtube whenever the freak I want. Well, except when I am at school or sleeping.

Easter has sucked, but I have downloaded loads of splendid songs, from such shows as Greys Anatomy, One Tree Hill, Supernatural and Skins.
I really love this new found speed.

Jane, you rule. Why thank you Déan, so do you. I do believe! Splendid! Marvellous! I say!

Gone

The weather outside is frightful!

2008-03-03T11:51:00.000-08:00

but one should never question a girl who has decided to wear her surf shorts for the day! Its insanity, and Im doing it because I want to!

I write this, as a last hope. Something terrible is happening to me and I dont know what I have done to deserve this or how to stop it.
Technology is turning against me. I am being forced back into 1990's Janeworld, and Im not liking it. All my favoured forms of entertainment have been taken out.
It started with my mobile. I thought nothing of it, oh, a mobile! Thats not too bad! Armed with my 2005-no-camera-or-even-mp3-tone-phone from Catherine, I soldiered on. A new phone woulr come my way eventually, right? No. I went into tesco, and they were out of the one model I had set my sights upon. I would have thought nothing of it if it hadnt been for other signs.
Initially, my lava lamp popped out.
Last week under suspicious circumstances my shower radio mysteriously fell and the tuning dial smashed off. I now have to endure the sounds of Lyric FM as I brush my teeth.
Three nights ago my fan heater blew up, forcing me to return to the depths of my bed huddling for warmth.
Saturday, Saturday was the kicker. On Saturday my beloved ipod Noah was cruelly taken from me due to a fault in its hard drive. I am to return to it tomorrow to recieve an update on its health, but I fear the worst.

I dont know why this is happening to me. One by one all my 21st century equipment has been smited from me. I now fear for the welfare of my laptop Sunny, camera Tristan, and most of all my Geroge Foreman grill, George.

If anyone has any information, please contact me. I'm the nervous wreck desperately clutching the light up pen at the bus stop.

On another note, I am screeeeeeweeeeed for my blodge test amarach. C'est la vie!!

Hello world!

2007-11-25T14:25:00.000-08:00

Im oh so tired, and once again I havent done any homework. =) Not that I even know what I have, having skipped school on Friday! Im oh so bad.

On Thursday I got the train up. I never realised how truly boring solicitors are untill I had to sit beside four of them. I'll never be a solicitor it seems, Id never be able to pull off a suit AND a black coat. I'd die of the heat, and they appear to be a requirement.

Since I was on the train, I missed Nearly Famous! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! I freaking love that show!!! Im so freaking pissed! Theyre lives are just how I want mine to be! Tall, skinny, and talented. :(

ANYWAYS! On Friday Anthony collected me and hour late, and off we went to Dun Laoighre! Brothers are great, not only did I not have to waste my money on a bus and probably get lost (Im pure shite at directions) but he also went in with my, where my shyness overtook and he asked all the questions I needed! ^_____^

The college is great, not what I expected, but great! All the requipment and darkrooms were class. Although I feel Im not cool enough to go ther. Everyone was taller, with dyed hair and even more piercings than I do, looks like Im going to have to go under the gun more just to even feel acceptable there!!

And now Im starting to worry I wont even get IN there. Its 2 freaking years away Déan! Calm the freak down! But I cant. Ho hum. Shouldve got a scaffold piercing. But Im just so cheap! P'raps Orla will do it for me??

Then Anthony and I went to Gourmet burger, or whatever, and the burgers were so big!! I had to abandon my bun, lettuce and tomatoes, and I was still stuffed so much I nearly got sick! Twas good though. Then Anthony dropped me into the city centre.

Anyway, I meandered around the city then. I love Dublin, its so pretty! I got loads of pictures, but Im too lazy to host them for here, and then I went out to NUIM to visit Sinéad and got a tour. It was SO cold, and when we went into the gym the guy was all "Could I see your ID cards?" Did we funking look like we were going to the gym? We were wearing heavy coats, hats, and in Sinéads case a scarf. The gobshite!

We stayed up till 3 talking, and it was good, then Sinéad left the next day and I slept in.

Oh man, so confused about trains. Yer man was screaming at me over the intercom, Im so naive. I cant go to college in Dublin, Ill get runover or fall off a train my first day or something!!

Went into the city again, and saw Russell Brand in easons! Whwn he came in the guy next to me roared "Russell you sexy bitch ya!" twas tres amusante! I got Wicked by Gregory Maguire, and its so good! Ive been looking for it for years! Got a few others aswell. Then I wandered and saw the prettiest girl Ive ever seen. Japanes of course, little, long hair, wearing thigh high black socks and a black coat. Tried to get a picture, but she left. Oh well!

I also saw a boy with the prettiest eyes ever. Saw him the day before aswell, so it was fate! He's the boy I am to marry and our children shall have beutiful eyes. Haha, I wish. No, Aaron Johnson will do for me!

Anyways, am home now. Wearing the pretty blue hoody i got, which look like they have a set of headphones on them, which only cost me a fiver. Yum.

So to sum it all up, Im too uncool for college, I eat to much, Its cold, and People are pretty. The End!