Jane's life plan.

1. Cop the fuck on and EXCEL in 3rd year ESPECIALLY FRENCH.

2. Spend the summer after 3rd year in Paris learning how to roll my "r" 's authentically and find a french lover* called Pierre to buy me croissants which I shall eschew wit a firm "non" as my health has become my priority.
*French lover as this is MY life and in my life I wont have time for boyfriends only french lovers called Pierre who live to buy me croissants.

3. Australia! Adapt to the sun, feed a dingo my baby, wear a hat with corks in it, get severely burnt, Swim at 5am hammered, have Christmas on the beach.

4. Grow out knacker stripe and stop throwing out fighting words.

5. Figure out what to do with rest of life.

6. Don't get knocked up before you have seen the world.

7. Stay classy, San Diego.

Talking with my mother.

Apparently if I get knocked up, I can apply for single parent with the government. I get a house, money each week, baby things. Nevermind the fact my tits will look AMAZING.



The only downside is I will have a baby to look after, but the world needs a little more me in it!

The story of why I love jam so much.

When I was seventeen I went to the gaeltacht. The gaeltacht is like a summer camp, in the middle of nowhere where 70-80 teens go and live with host families, go to school, sports, etc and speak ONLY Irish.I went with four lads I was great friends with. But genders can't be mixed. I was living fucking MILES from them. Not only that, as I was the oldest in my house for the first few days [Three more girls were to arrive after a while] IO was Teach Ceannaire. Meaning, head of house. So it was me, two 14 year olds, and 3 13 year olds, miles from my friends. Whats worse? I had brought €70 work of pot but THE LADS HAD IT. So I was fucked off. Really fucked off. As is traditional with the gaeltacht, the food also sucked. basically the bean an ti gives you muck, and loads of bread and jam to fill you, with water and for one evening a week dilute to drink.

Never having been a fan of jam, after about 5 days I said fuck it and decided to just have some. And my life changed forever. How I delscribe it?

It added flavour to my otherwise dull and flavourless life.


For DAYS I had been eating only bread and butter, my tastebuds were crying. And there it was. Saved by the sweetest superhero, strawberry jam.

And then I went to college. Where I had to fend for myself. Where I have lived a bland and flavourless life, eating only pasta and bread, the cheapest foods imaginable. Made that bit more bearable with my good friend jam.

OMNOMNOMNOMNOM.

I want a tiny tattoo of a jam jar.

Today is nae my day

I woke up this morning/afternoon whatever and stumbled to the kitchen for my usual three or four cups of tea to start my day when THERE WAS NO TEABAGS.

I was griefstricken.

After an hour of curling up on the floor I decided to go to the shop. Which is a half hour away. Not a big deal but I hadn't even planned on getting dressed nevermind leaving the house today.

So off I went!

I picked my favourite brand, and got the biggest box there was. I walked home, clutching my teabags happily.

There is a roundabout in front of my house. I went to cross. There was a car coming. I knew if I ran I'd make it, and then Id be home and have tea!!!

I ran. I was a little cocky, I may have even shouted "Ha ha to you car!" as I ran across.

BUT OH FUCK. I dropped my teabags. I turned just in time to see them being run over.

I knelt on the ground threw my hands in the air and went "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

I felt my heart break.

WHY AM I SO USELES?? WHY CANT I DO THINGS?!?!

Cookbook

I think I'm going to write a cookbook, I seem to be cooking and baking so much these last few months. But it shan't contain normal recipies, oh no! It shall instead contain my own personal ones, such as an "I'm sorry I slept with your friend" cake, and "Thanks for taking me to the hospital" lasagne.


I see a future in this.

blah

23:57Me
I got in there first!

[thats what she sed]

23:57Megan
cuz yours was shorter

23:57Me
thats what she sed

Dossing.

Here I am yet again, another assignment not done yet still procrastinating. I hate myself sometimes, and the fact I am so relaxed about what should be important shite. It worries me that I don't worry. If that make sense.

I don't care though. It's tragic, that I focus more on the social aspect of college. But lately, I have just felt so accepted in college. It shocks me when people know my name, or draw me into conversation, or even involve me. I'm not used to it, and I don't know why. In my head I just can't see why people would even WANT to involve me and draw me in, it just makes no sense. But I love it. I love everyone up there, I love Awesome K and how knowing her has brought so many science faces into my life, my class, and how on our week away I totally carved my place in their minds. Jane- Funny, moody, not a morning person, talks a lot, makes no sense, frizzy hair, impulsive, drunk, laughable, likable? Sans regret. I think it was my "walk of shame" that really got them, as I trudged through the breakfast room in my colourful wellies, bright green jammie bottems, drs and bright blue hoody, hair as mad as a goat, I most definitely drew the ENTIRE classes attention. I tried to be subtle and quiet about it, but when the cheering started what else could I do, but throw my hands in the air?



I sound like such a fucking girl right now. Fuck me.